Sid Blumenthal Says Obama Administration Failures Due to Obama Penis Size and GOP Jealousy
Sidnee Blumenthal, renown Democratic operative for Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, who describes himself as “the benevolent and wise voice of the DNC” says that “Mr. Obama’s epic girth and length was disdained by the, mostly closeted, gay white men of the GOP”.
Mr. Blumenthal was commenting on the most unaccomplished, and corrupt, administration in American history.
Historians are listing the epic corruption scams at The Department of Energy, The VA, the Department of the Interior, and other agencies under Obama, which cost taxpayers trillions of dollars in losses, due to raw criminality within the administration, as highlights in the Obama time-line.
Blumenthal said that the failures were only because the White Men of the GOP knew of Mr. Obama’s huge member and coveted his abilities. The GOP decided to sabotage Obama, and stop him from letting Eric Holder prosecute these horrific crimes against the public, said Blumenthal.
Said Blumnthal: “If you don’t believe me, ask the Secret Service! They never let the President walk through the West Wing, in his bathrobe, in the morning, in order to halt his swaggering member from swinging to, and fro, and chipping the paint off of the walls in the hundred year old White House corridors. As a matter of fact, the reason every Secret Service agent ran out and hired hookers, and always got drunk, was because they could not stand to be so close to so much manhood”.
Blumenthal blames The President’s “Profound and historical” “Penile situation” on the many failures of the Obama White House. While it may have appeared, to most, that the “fox was in the hen-house”, Mr. Blumenthal says that it was more of a case of “The cock was in the hen-house and he was crowing all day long in the Oval Office”.
Steven Chu, the Head of the Department of Energy, who was forced to resign, in disgrace, after handing billions of taxpayer dollars to Obama’s best friends, in one of the largest political kick-back schemes in history, said: “Yes, it is big”
Asked if he thought that “Penile” and “Penitentiary” should go hand-in-hand, Mr. Chu stated: “well, if I end up in prison, I would certainly want to continue to be The President’s Bitch!”
Blumenthal pointed, specifically, to Paul Ryan, who he said had a “Micro-member”. “Ryan has a tiny head, on his body, in every location”, charged Blumenthal.
Blumenthal also revealed that The President was horrified by the constant gifts of home-made cookies from Lindsey Graham and the “pleading notes” to join Graham for a rowboat ride on the Potomac.
The notorious rivalry between Hillary Clinton and Obama did not go unmentioned. While long-time Washington DC jokes about “whose is bigger” contests between Hillary and Obama are old news, the newest dish refers to Huma’s device attachment known as “The Obamanator”.
The GOP states, categorically, that they know, “for a fact” that “The President not only has a tiny penis but it is very crooked, like all of his Cabinet”. Blumnthal says that he hired Chinese hackers to hack the President’s Blackberry and recover the penis tweets that he and Huma’s husband exchanged.