Elon Musk Says That LA Times is A Seething Pit of Vapid Punjabs, For Exposing His Political Kick-Back Payments

Elon Musk Says That LA Times is A Seething Pit of Vapid Punjabs, For Exposing His Political Kick-Back Payments

Elon Musk Says That LA Times is A Seething Pit of Vapid Punjabs, For Exposing Him

 

Elon Musk has raged across the internet with his proclamation of satanic intent by the LA Times.

By getting “out-of-line” with the agreed upon cover-up, that the Silicon Valley Cartel had ordered, the LA Times transgressed it’s authority under the main stream media campaign backers, sanctified, “no discuss” rules.

Musk had specifically even moved to LA, and out of Silicon Valley, some say in order to get better hookers, and was an “LA” celebrity deserving of celebrity treatment. It was “like my own mother had put another sausage in my ass” was how a Musk confidant said he reacted; paraphrasing.

Elon Musk is the greatest thing since sliced bread and an icon of modern genius and wonderment, said Elon Musk. He has never done wrong and all those divorces, fraud lawsuits, failed technologies and narcissistic-appearing things he does are just him stooping to act like the common people in order to demonstrate that his wonderfulness can be mitigated, continued Musk.

Musk feels that the insipid cave-dwelling scum that inhabit the LA Times are pond slime who can barely lick the hair off of their own backs. Musk said that they could have written about Cher or ABBA, or something else everybody cares about, but he got singled out because of his awesome sexiness which makes the LA TIMES people jealous because they can’t even afford hookers on their two-bit salaries.

In the end, though, when asked if he was just a patsy for the Silicon Valley Cartel to conduit campaign kick-back cash through, and run stock market scams, Musk replied: “uhhhhhhhhhh….”

While the leaks of recent times have proven that Musk owes his existence to kickback campaign bucks, he says it is only a “pittance” that is calculated by taking all of the billions of taxpayer money he got and then lying and saying the word “pittance”.

While the knuckle-dragging apes at the LA Times stroke their Pulitzers behind some dumpster in Santa Monica, Musk is busy stroking the girl of the week. Musk likes that.

Musk showed them, though. By spewing a million variations of his  “Why The LA TIMES suck” stories across the internet. The MuskRat gave them what-for, by golly. When Google is in your kick-back scheme loop, you can do some serious search engine rigging.

Sure Elon Musk may be a sociopathic liar, as the media proclaims. He may have gotten all of his money as a Goldman Sachs stock market scam deal to pay back John Doerr and Eric Schmidt for political campaigns, he may be Dianne Feinstein’s and Richard Blum’s corruption buddy, but who cares as long as Elon Musk is Elon Musk, the greatest living human on Earth, according to Elon Musk.

 

(This has been a humourous parody by ex-onion staff)